Message 10/17/13

I have been watching another theme emerge.  Many people still seem to think that they need to go out with someone because they ask them to and will often marry someone because they ask them to marry them.  Then, people often tell me that they feel dread going out with someone or dread at the thought of marrying someone.  This is a not a loved based way of deciding whom to date and whom to marry.

In the case of dating, you want to say yes to someone whom you find interesting.  Dating is a chance to get to know someone better.  You should feel excited about going out with the individual.  If you feel dread or see a lot of red lights, don’t go out with the person.  A second or third date goes to people you really enjoy being with and exploring your connection further.

In the case of marriage, don’t agree to marry someone whom you feel repulsed by, turned off or dread at the thought of spending your life with them..  You want to pick a partner who brings out the best in you.  You want someone whom you really enjoy and can’t wait to see and be with.  That doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days with the partner but you have more good days than bad days with them and you always value them.  They should be a really good friend as well as someone you have chemistry with.  They should be the first person you want to see in the morning and the last person you want to see at night.  They should be the person you want to work life out with.  You need to be able to be fully honest with them.  As a couple, you should be putting each other’s needs into the equation for important decisions.  You should always have each other’s back and be watching out for what is best for each other.  Being together should feel good.  Looking into the future together should feel good and exciting.

Pay attention to the relationships that you are attracting and how you feel with your friends, dates, relatives and partners.  You can apply this with anyone allowed into your inner circle.